My friend has a belief that the world would be a better place started we using more No.
Have you found yourself in a situation where you say yes because of politeness or feeling that you have to? Doing a favour for others we harm our feelings and resources. But not doing that favour makes us feel guilty. Sounds familiar?
That happens because No is the right word there. And we are too shy or polite to say it.
My friend has a strategy and a way of thinking about this. She thinks that it is ok to say No when you are not ok with something and also, you should feel ok if someone says No to you.
I agree it is difficult to switch to this mindset. But a small step every day adds up to big progress. Say No to simple requests at first. Feel proud of yourself, not guilty. See this action as being kind to yourself. And vice versa, if you see saying Yes to others as satisfying their needs, see it equally as harm to yourself.
What’s more, sometimes people will respect you more if they hear No from you from time to time. The key here is to be honest: do a favour if you want to and can do it, reject if you are tired, can’t do it or feel a high level of unwilling to do it.
However, equally important to accept others' No and believe that others can except it too. Try the following thinking. If you say No you want others to react understandingly. You are an example for your friend and family. Accept and understand them when you hear No from them.
It’s ok to say no. It’s perfect to accept no. That is a balance.